The reason I cut my apples

I am incredibly self-conscious about eating apples. I am loud, messy and generally very unattractive while attempting to bite something bigger than my fist. I get apple juice dribble down my chin, and if it’s a particularly good apple, all down my arm too, and half the time I take bites that I can’t even completely fit in my mouth, so I chew on the end not hanging out of my mouth until I can shove the rest of it in.

It’s really not pretty.

I don’t look like this: I bet her lipstick will still be perfect when she's finished

I do look like this (only not as cute):

 I have a sweet, crispy fuji apple sitting on my desk next to me, begging to be eaten. But I forgot to bring a knife and I’m loathe to mar my coworkers opinion of me. Do you think scissors will work?

EDIT: Crisis averted!! My good friend reminded me through a snarky picture message that I own a pocketknife!  (I’m an idiot)

My knife! Lunch is saved


7 thoughts on “The reason I cut my apples

  1. mikereverb says:


    I’ve never met anyone self-conscious about eating apples. Bananas, sure, but not apples.

    I’m glad you found a pretty awesome solution to your problem.

    Was the apple good?

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